Lately I've been having these rather euphoric moments that wash over me and take over my subconscious-- it's as if everything is okay in the universe-- that some part of the powers that exist all around me are pacifying all the stress and bad things...giving me a quiet, reassuring nod and pat on the shoulder. I'm so sorry if it sounds cheesy, but I wish this ultimate calm for others. I truly wish I could bottle it, because it's really, really powerful. Maybe it's faith? I don't really have a good word.
So, a quote that has woven itself in and out of my life at different times (I think because I've always been performing and talking and making music-- and NOISE) that quotes about quiet often speak to me. (Paradox, yes, kids.) So, the part about, "in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul" has spoken to me. Honestly, I believed it was a Proverb, when I finally decided to look it up. Much to my surprise and giggly pleasure, this piece by Ehrmann includes a quote on a magnet that my amazing Aunt Janet gave to me at one point-- "you are a child of the universe, no less than all the trees and stars, be gentle with yourself." Jay once mentioned to me, but if the first premise is that you are amazing and compare to all these great things, you shouldn't be gentle-- you should have high expectations of yourself. I like the calm end. Too often, I'm unkind to myself and criticize myself too harshly. Reminding me to be gentle with me is never a bad thing.
Another point that came up today at work was the relationship between the givers and the takers. When you have a lot to give, the takers seem to find you. This is all well and good, especially because it does seem to serve a reciprocal purpose-- I enjoy giving, and I feel rewarded when the takers appreciate my assistance. That's probably why I'm in my field. However...the catch comes when you're low on the giving or don't know when you're going to be able to fill up next. I have a co-worker who's experienced a great deal of grief and turmoil lately-- and in my non-expert opinion, I think what's hurting her so much is that she is such a giver and to be so drained and unable to serve others her gift of giving makes her even more exhausted and feel unappreciated (sorry, poor construction on that one).
I am attempting to feel appreciated (in my environment of work where aspects of people have forgotten how to experience gratitude) for the gifts I bring-- to my students, colleagues, administration, community...and how I ENJOY giving, even if the appreciation/gratitude/thanks is not immediately present. It's in the universe somewhere. I know it. I've been getting these amazing feelings of grateful euphoric calm that proves it.:)
Here's the piece....I don't know anything much about the author, but his words are so simplistically beautiful and true.
Max Ehrmann
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
