Zeitgeist-- Smashing Pumpkins. Rocks. My. Face.

a little hunger
a little wonder of
death from above

death from above

oh mary mary
what are we askin of
death from above

yes love im sinkin
i wonder just how far
what was i thinkin
of when i fell apart

i see the moon move
cover me under the spell
i see the few souls
cover me hungry and cold

i know the first thing
running up under your path
i know this can't last
death from above

shoot here comes
death from above

a little reject
a simple conjure of
death from above


yes love im sinkin
i hunger where you are
whats left but notice
to notice just how far

i see the moon light
cover me under the spell
i see the few souls
beggin bury us now

i know the valleys
running up under my path
i know the (spare leaves ?)
death from above

oh here comes death from above

oh lord im sinking
i just dont know how far
its death from above

yes love im sinking
i hunger where you are
death from above

death from above

yes lord im thinking of
death from above

yes lord im thinking of
death from above



hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. loves it.

I had some really great concept in my head last night before I went to sleep and I totally lost it by the time I woke up. I really wish I didn't have to work today because I really feel some musings to write-- both about trivial things and possibly less trivial things. Not to mention...I have 2 papers, a final, a portfolio, and sound editing to complete. It's going to be a long day. Plus, there's so much fun holiday stuff going on, I just want to do all that and none of this. Alas. :-P

Romeo and Juliet recordings have gone well. I appreciate all my friends and their help on this project. Luchsingers concert went AMAZING...I was so pleased with the turnout and the performance. It's been a long week for Rex and Olivia because her mom passed unexpectedly. Bless his heart, baby boy has been good-- we hung out Friday night and he was awesome during the service. He loves him some bath time! There are bath toys all over my house.

Courtney moved, so I'm looking for a roommate currently...I think I need a college student (I'd prefer it at least)...I'd like this process to be done with, to say the least. Anyway...
went to see "Season's Greetings" at the Alliance...hung out with director/cast, etc. after-- had tons of fun.

Anyway, this seems like a diary entry and I thought of something I was going to write. I hurt my finger last week at work and typing makes it throb. Amazing timing...
Peace, love, and hope.

love her!

"There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest." -Anais Nin

Best prof on the planet

Okay, So Betty Scott Noble, with a million titles, is officially the best professor on the planet. She rocks so hard and so loud. I must go into more detail at a later date.

I just bought a bunch of music on itunes and I'm really excited about it. I got Ryan Adams' Rock and Roll-- and numbers 4 and 5 rock my face off. "cotton candy and a rotten mouth-- you know you're so fucked up-- you know I couldn't help but have it for you..." and "Watched the boats in the harbor...I am on your side, always on your side"....love Ryan so much!

Happy/loud music:
Hooray for Me (Bad Religion)
The Middle (Jimmy Eat World)
I'm gonna be (500 Miles)- Proclaimers
Umbrella- Rihanna
Shut up and drive-Rihanna
I'm gonna be alright- Jlo

Sad/quieter:
Nothing compares 2U- Sinead
Better man (Pearl Jam)
Hate that I love you- Rihanna
Say it Right- Nelly Furtado
BEst of you-- Foo Fighters (well, it's loud and sad)

Okay, so I love these songs all for a bunch of different reasons. It makes me happy to have them. THE MIDDLE has been a theme song of mine for a couple YEars now. Crazy!

Romeo and Juliet, take 1

Gabcast! ENG 610 Podcast #3 - Romeo and Juliet 2.2

Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene 2-- the famous balcony scene, recorded using the McDougal Littell abridgment of the classic Shakespeare. American accents are used. Actors: Michael Palma as Romeo, Adrienne Gauthier as Juliet, Courtney Hegert as Nurse, William Clarke, sound design

If you don't love me, let me go

this is a decemberists song: the only one I know:

I'm an engine driver
On a long run, on a long run
Would I were beside her
She's a long one, such a long one

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

I'm a county lineman
On the high line, on the high line
So will be my grandson
There are powerlines in our bloodlines

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

I'm a money lender
I have fortunes upon fortunes
Take my hand for tender
I am tortured, ever tortured

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
I am a writer, I am all that you have hoped on

And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

(And if you don't love me let me go)
And if you don't love me let me go
(And if you don't love me let me go)
And if you don't love me let me go

this is not a very creative post...I'll go somewhere with it oneday...I'm actually not sad right now, I'm really happy. Very ancy (how do you spell ancy?), but happy. My wise Janet Aunt said something to me yesterday including the line, "if you don't love me, let me go"-- and I guess I'm brought (probably) to a U2 or CM (how do you tell someone) or REM (everybody hurts) song...where exactly does that love go? I mean, where did it come from? If you are calling nouns, they are persons, places, things, and ideas-- and when explaining that concept to 6th graders, the example for "idea" is ALWAYS love. Love is a many splendid thing...love lifts us up where we belong. What is love? It's a thing, but it's a special thing: it's an idea. An ideal even. I'm idealistic...another talk I had recently with Janet aunt referring to a kind email I received confirmed that. I get convinced that I'm realistic when I'm down, and then I realize that my head is always in the clouds-- I'm always hoping for better things and believing that everyone shares this hope-- but it's just not true. I wish you could. I wish you could share this hope-- this idealism, because it feels good. It's a warm, glittery, flittery feeling in my heart and it feels like home.

Okay, I wasn't going to go anywhere with this, but it seems like when i have writing for a grade due, I have lots of writing in my head worth writing down and maybe even sharing. :-/

Open-ish Auditions

Who's into voiceovers?
Like working for a good cause?

So, for a final project (meaning, due in 2 weeks) I'd like to make a digital audio recording/podcast of the entire play of Romeo and Juliet. It will be used for high school audiences and not require British/Shakespeare accents. If you are interested, and are happy to work for pizza and booze (well, if you're old enough)...please let me know. I'll be recording in the Atlanta/Decatur area. I'll get some semblance of a schedule together for anyone who's interested.

Oh, if you know of someone I didn't tag and you think would be great, let me know too! agauthier@agnesscott.edu

Oh, if you know anything about recording and would like to share advice, that's always welcome, too.

Thanks in advance! :)

Adrienne (Miss G.)

Note to self: don't change for anyone

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”

Katy likes this quote I think, it's Kurt Vonnegut...I like it too. I just came across it and I like the "hello babies" part because I don't feel patronizing when I call my high schoolers babies. I don't mean immature, I mean, babies, like I think my giant stinky dog is a big baby. I mean, seriously, I adore her...so, yeah. Whatever. My head hurts today...pretty much has all day...and it's kind of spinning from hearing a friend relay some of her life experiences. Lemme tell ya, Arleen is something else. I knew she was "balls of steel" senior...but oh, my god, she's been through hell. Oh, and when google makes suggestions when you type in "Kurt", Cobain comes up before Vonnegut. That's kinda sad.

On an unrelated note, I finally bought Ryan Adams' Rock and Roll cd-- mainly because Em keeps forgetting to set it on fire for me. haha. SO, I think my favorite song is "Wish you were Here" because of the openning--

Cotton candy and a rotten mouth
You know you're so fucked up
You know I couldn't help but have it for you
It's all a bunch of shit
And there's nothing to do around here
It's totally fucked up
I'm totally fucked up
Wish you were here...

I love that..."cotton candy and a rotten mouth" I LOVE cotton candy. In Arleen's words, "Girl, you cuss like a sailor, worse than me! What is the good God in Texas gonna think?" Dunno where I'm going with this...but I like it. The other Ryan Adams song I like is "So Alive"---Always on your side--I'm on your side--And so alive it isn't real...again, not sure where I'm going with this...but it feels self-affirmative.

Had a nice chat with John last night...he is one of few people who can bring out a genuine (not Scarlet Ohara, not Redneck Randy, etc.) Southern accent in me. Funny. I do wish he was here...hmmm. Maybe the circle is complete...(taps fingertips menacingly!)

Okay, I'm loopy, still feeling this headache, and have much too much to do tomorrow. Peace!

Writing Down the Bones

Natalie Goldburg's book on Freeing the Writer Within...

Comments on it

Where you can get a copy of your own!

A "real" review

Cool quotes and a picture

Writing ideas inspired by the book

Certification

SO, in Georgia, there is this teacher certification test called the GACE. Everywhere else, it's the PRAXIS. The Georgia one is supposedly easier so that more people pass it, so I hear. It was kinda long and boring and I didn't even know what some of the words meant on it...and they don't give you your scores unless you failed it. Put it this way....I GOT NO SCORES!

I PASSED! I can be a teacher in Georgia. This deserves a YEEEEEEEEE-HAW!


Oh, in other news, Grandpa Bill is in the hospital after a head-on collision (not his fault, the license-less 16-year-old's) with a shattered knee, bumps and bruises to the head, and torn rotator cuff. Please pray for the sweet old guy. He's such a charmer-- his oxygen is monitered through his trachea and they keep fussing at him because he's talking too much and taking the oxygen tubes off in order to cover his trach. He's got a good will there!

'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces

And if this is giving up then I'm giving up-- Anna Nalick

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do -- Bonnie Tyler

These are words I'm thinking about. I'm lame. :-P
Happy Thanksgiving all...

Dear Al Gore

Dear Al Gore,
I'm a liberal environmentalist but I don't believe in global warming the way you think we all should. Duh, if the polar icecaps were melting, we'd have water in the Chattahoochee River in Georgia. I think Sam drew a better reason for water issues: http://www.explodingdog.com/title/ineedtomove.html
Love,
Adrienne

PS-- You should get a fuel-efficient car and stop taking tons of limos everywhere.

Pictures for fall...

Agnes Scott had a big turn out for the Atlanta AIDS walk in November. GO, SCOTTIES!
Laurel was my team captain. She's also a lovely Luchsinger Soprano!
My dog (Bella) is the cutest on the planet.
Allison and I were good team-workers at the Amnesty International cookie baking party for Guantanamo Bay. 86 to "86" People!

Nephew Baby is adorable. He is the rosiest-cheeked little muffin. He's almost as cute as Bella. Well, I think he might know a few more tricks.

Fall is for KIDS!

So, this Fall, I helped Aunt Janet at her school with story telling (as Elvira lady and Little Red) in September and then went with Kilpatrick and Morrow to the High Museum for Impressionism. These kids are the most adorable ever!

techno triumph

So, at the risk of sounding un-American, I really hate comcast. They have been giving me problems and the internet has been broken all week. Yes, Comcast, you shitcast, you broke the internet.
So anyway, I bought a universal remote so that I could use it on my dvd/vcr steal (I got it on Craigslist for cheap sans remote) and managed to program it! I'm so excited! I didn't even need a boy to do this for me!!! :)

Podcast for class

This is mildly entertaining. Have a listen!

Gabcast! ENG 610 Podcast #2 - ENG 610 Podcast

Miss G (aka Adrienne Gauthier) shares her Italian experiences and travel tips.

From an artist in DC: "Due to the lack of experienced trumpters, the end of the world has been postponed for 3 weeks."







The end of the world will not happen until just before finals. This makes me happy. I no longer see the need to study!

Regina Spektor...

Regina Spektor concert this Thursday with Christy and I'm mad excited! The only downer is the amount of stuff I have to do in between now and then. Oh well...it's early yet...

So, "if you kiss me where it's sore" I don't think "you'd feel better, better better" because you'd probably get sick like me...but I might feel better. hmm. I'm trying not to think about you being my "sweetest downfall" because there are many other things for me to do right now...even though I guess I have "loved somebody fully...but maybe I did always have one foot on the ground"...it adds to my boringness. I've been doing well, but let me say, facebook does not help me with the ideas of "who's that girl wearing my dress??" No "little bag of cocaine"-- not my style.

Ah music, how I love you more than anything else I think.

letter.

Dear Grandma Marilyn,
I wanted to put this on cute stationary and a stamp, but seeing as how there's no post office where you are, I'm just going to trust that you get it this way.
I was thinking about you today (as I do most days, but today especially I wanted to talk with you) because I wanted to ask you what I'd done wrong with my bird feeder. I mean, I put mouse and rat food in it instead of bird food, but it was on a really good sale at Petco, and I figured the birds could eat all the seeds and throw the little pellets on the ground if they didn't want them. I hung the bird feeder up a few days ago and nothing! Nada! The squirrels haven't even located it. Here's a place where you and I differ: to be completely honest, I like the squirrels and chipmunks more than the birds. They make cuter sounds and have adorable faces. Beaks just don't do that much for me. It doesn't bother me if the squirrels eat all the food...as long as they don't chew up the bird feeder. I like having it there because it reminds me of you. You always loved your birds-- cardinals, bluejays, robins....so many to name. I couldn't name them all, that's for sure.
I loved how you could sit at the dining room table on the red and white checkered cushions and wait for the birds to come to the window sill feeder. You could smell the dried eucalyptis and see the beaded flowers in vases all around you and your dishes, placemats, and table runner. ALl of these things were so distinctly you-- it was your biome, your niche. I bought some eucaplytis last week becuase it smelled like your house to me. It makes me happy to smell. I know that olefactory glands are attached to some of our strongest memories-- the smell of eucalytis reminds me of you so much it almost takes my breath away sometimes. At the table, you sat so still that they didn't even mind you being there. I hung the feeder on a tree branch (one I could reach) outside my window here in Decatur so I could see the birds when I'm sitting at my desk. I don't really have time to sit at a table-- you had lots of time...but you still managed to do a lot. I admire that about you.
I have pictures from my trip around the midwest. I'd love to tell you all about them. I'm sorry I never finished my Italy scrapbook so that you could go on my journey with me through that. I've been singing-- we are singing at a church service on Sunday. You'll hear. We're doing this Operator song that's kind of bluesy, but it's pretty. Mom's coming-- but I doubt she'll tape it. She usually taped everything for you anyway. I'll have to make sure Grandpa Bill comes to the Christmas concert. It's on Emily's birthday this year. Poor kiddo, she never gets a day all her own for her birthday. I hope I can remember to do an unbirthday for her in the summer. She deserves it.
Mom's doing well-- she got an extension to finish her paper and get her PhD. Neil's been really nice lately, he helped me with picking up a screen I got that wouldn't fit in my car. You know, my house is so weird-shaped that it made sense to get something to break up the space a little. You'd like it, it's hand-painted, even though I got it from, you'll never guess-- Big Lots. Did you know they have nice things there too? Weird!
Emily's going to move in sometime in December,I think. She's been working a lot at Fernbank--more often than me, I'm so busy with school. She's still got her boyfriend and is working out going to college in the spring. She'll tell you about it sometime.
Grandma Jane and Janet are okay-- I went to Janet's school last Friday to do stories with her kiids at their fall festival. I dressed up as LIttle Red Riding Hood and read/sang this funny Halloween Bones book. They liked it a lot-- it's weird because in Griffin, I was something like a celebrity. I think that's what it would have been like if I'd worked at Disney. People were asking me to take pictures with their kids and stuff. It was strange to me-- but I had a good time and it helped Janet out.
Boys? Oh, Will and I broke up, but I don't want to talk about it now. I'll tell you more sometime.
Anyway, I have to go-- there's a little bird at the feeder now-- it's small with greyish white body and a black crest. I don't know what it's called-- I was hoping you'd know. It makes me sad, but it makes me happy to have that there. I want to tap into your love of birds. There's something serene about it-- and serenity is something I think I can afford to have sometimes.
Anyway, I love you! Beez Kneez! I'll talk to you soon!
Adrienne

more stuff I forgot...

More stuff...*passively looking for #9 button
*brick store and lambic
*Wal-of-mart slogan and its ridiculousness
*celtic warrior knot and Janet's Nancy...

things to write on

This is going to be an incomplete entry-- I need to put a little down on paper, so to speak, but don't really have the time or mental prowess to do much I want to do with it at this time.

It's been a busy week...I've been out almost every night this week (maybe not the best for my "staying on track in school" mantra)-- but it's been goodtimes with good friends. Had an interesting phone call on Monday night...not sure how to write about that, exactly and goodtimes with a friend on Tuesday. Rough day on Wednesday, but ended at Carpe Diem with a half-price bottle of red wine-- which is always a good time. Thursday...I got to talk to an old friend at my old job about a lot of stuff-- she's amazing. She's been a surrogate for infertile relatives-- and carried twins to term who were born this summer. I'm in awe. She's also really cool and easy to talk to. Good advice and thoughts from Melissa...that's for sure.

Friday was "Things are Looking Up" day...as Christy and I have now deemed them. Chamblee High is really a cool school-- I met a couple of really down-to-earth educators-- Mr. Smith and Ms. Knapp-- as well as the principal Lowery and the pres. of the Ga Charter School Association. Good networking, people!! Got books, ideas for a lesson (yay, Poe!), made new friends, found a place I want to work theoretically next year, etc. etc. I hit a tree in my yard earlier in the week (oops) and a piece of my plastic undercarriage was scraping the ground for a while-- it finally made it off-- so, things are looking up. Made it to Clopton and he made some recommendations, and let me say the traffic on Candler SUCKS! I hung out with Will for a bit on Friday-- we need outside activities...otherwise I get sad. Nuff said.

Saturday, I picked up Baby Boy (is it weird to use a baby's real name here??) and we went to Stone Mountain for the Scottish Highland Games. Contrary to popular belief, they're called kilts, not skirts. Anyway...it wasn't exactly the same as I remember it as a kid or a horny teenager (it's been a few years since I've gone)-- but I got some stained glass, heard some pipe and drum bands, ate a funnel cake (sprinkled with dirt by Baby) and roast corn and chatted with my mom, Aunt, and Grandma. Saw a little Irish washerwoman dancing-- that stuff is so funny. Ended up kind of doing nothing except reading some Bill Bryson last night-- oh wait! After getting the new postsecret book and some Gace/Praxis stuff. Selection at Edgewood B&N sucks. Oh well. Yay, postsecret. I really believe in that project; it's amazing. I overuse the word amazing all the time-- but it is. =)

Today is the AIDS walk in Piedmont Park...and I have a pile of homework to do...along with Luchsingers and Amnesty. Ah yes...life is busy, and when life is busy, it is good.

changes...

Man, what a day, what a week. Wait. I should be careful and not use gender-specific language. Now I'm looking for that all the time, thanks Caro! :) Darn! what a day!...No, Crap! What a day! Well, I think I should just rewrite this draft...haha!

I've just finished a book for my ws class called "Willow Weep For Me: a Black Woman's Journey Through Depression" by Meri Nana-Ama Danquah. She's a Ghanian immigrant who also has written about her immigrant experience-- which I'd like to read as well. I can't find that much stuff on her online-- (I think she needs a better website!) but her writing was so incredibly insightful and powerful to me. I never think to flag, dogear, highlight, and write all over books as much as I have with this book. It's honestly been more useful to me than years of on-and-off therapy have been as well! If you can, or, I'm trying to figure out a way to put the intro to her book up somehow (maybe it's on Amazon?), it's really, really great-- whether you've suffered (or are suffering) with depression or want to know more about the illness. My ws class is "women's disability studies" and taking depression as an illness-- a disability-- is a new track for me-- I've always just looked at my depression as something that needs to be squashed and hidden and not talked about...that it is shameful. What a book to bring it out into the light.

caffeine buzz

So, I'm sitting in my class right now (uh oh!) and I'm totally experiencing the shakes and the zaps (as Emily denotes) from not enough food (I had awesome cracker barrel sour dough toast, yumm) but I ran out of time to finish my homework AND eat...so I'm sitting in this AWFUL class and shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. Speaking of windstorms, I decided it would be a good idea to walk back from class after my Women' s Studies class and then work on homework and let Bella take a walk, but neglected to think about the clouds building in the sky. Ah yes, I had to walk back the gigantic 8/10ths of a mile to Agnes Scott in the rain, and yes, my umbrellas are in the trunk of my car, parked in the parking deck. Tragic, really. :-P I think I can credit an old friend Ivan with saying "tragic" all the time, so the "tragic, really" is a spin-off of that. I say it in a smarmy accent; it's better that way.
So, my tummy wants food, and less Cream Soda, however, the A&W was quite delicious as it was going down. I suppose avocado and tomato salad will do for dinner tonight-- I'm trying to get into the habit of buying food that I like and will eat...and doing so! It sounds so simple, but I've grown up in the times of buying in bulk (I come from a family with 5 children!!) and I tend to buy things and accidentally let them expire. Not exciting, especially given my financial times right now. I pick convenient nutrition in times of stress...ie, eating out, instead of spending time cooking when I need to be doing other things. It works for me...but not so much for my budget! I'm doing better I think...and I'm trying!!
Okay, so, I'm just writing about my silly diet, but what better things are blogs for?
So, in seriousness, I'm playing around with the idea of changing my name. Today is the 5-month anniversary of my paternal grandmother's death (RIP--MLCG) and she's the only one in my family (who I care about) who would be offended if I dropped my last name. I'm taking all these classes having to do with identity and naming and the intersections of our identities...I think the past of my name of my father has been changed throughout my life...it was initially French pronunciation and then anglocized to an awful version, and then I've personally shortened it (in schools) to the initial "G" and, quite honestly, that works for me. I have no connection to having the name of my father and continually perpetuating the masculine patriarchy. More power to the women who feel comfort with that...I wish I did, but alas, I do not have that positive connection. Anyway, I feel very funny about my name as it's connected to my identity-- even my first name was finally selected by my father (agreed upon after hours of deliberation) and I was born after a rather short labor...I was ready to be out and into the world!
My middle name was chosen by my mom and I like it...I know several other women my age (you know who you are!) who have the same middle name and I like it a lot. I think it may be a good last name...any thoughts?

first post!

first post...
So I've lost my pw to my xanga account, so blogspot is my new place. Fantastic, I say. In case you don't know, Bella is my American bulldog-- and is my heart! Precious is sleeping in a pile of pillows as we speak. Bouquet comes from...well, I like nice smells. That's all. Bellabouquet!