Waffle brunch and waffling boys

Since it’s a delightfully out-of-season 67 degrees here, I’m sitting on my little shitty back porch (it overlooks my neighbor’s rotting privacy fence—where they ignore their dog 20 hours a day-- and has mildew spots where the gutters dump rain water all the time) blogging with my dog. She’s not adding so much to the blog per se, but she is adding to my iTunes soundtrack by barking in time at the squirrels. That poor little thing, I just went inside and got a little mat for her to sit on because I didn’t want to have to pick splinters out of her little paws or belly from the awful porch. It’s a rough (ruff) life for her.
 

And back to me. I’m a Taurus. This is important or it’s not. Making major life decisions based on dead particles of matter bazillions of light years away and how they appear to be formatted in the shapes of pictures of animals, according to our ancestors—well if that roll of the dice appeals to you, good stuff.  Taureans are supposed to be patient to a fault (think Ferdinand the bull smelling the flowers in the meadow), loyal, and reliable. Like many French people, once we trust you, we trust you forever. If you break that trust, well, we’re done with you. Snort, snort, paw the ground, horns blazing.

I put a certain amount of stock in astrology because it’s interesting. Sometimes it’s accurate, sometimes it isn’t. I also find birth order and seasonal coincidences (babies born 9 months after blizzards, etc.) about human behavior fascinating.  I’ve also had the fortune of working with anywhere in the neighborhood of 200-700 people in a calendar year for the past five years—meaning I’ve had some time to hone my observation skills about the nature of human interaction. I continue on this pseudo-science on a daily basis, and it’s great.

Per my last blog, I was waiting on a dumb boy to call. Based on market research (meaning I bugged my friends on Facebook and talked to anyone who I felt like sharing with), boys are dumb and dense. Loveable, handy, enjoyable, etc…but dumb and dense. So my poor little Taurus bull in my head has been getting a little frustrated with this boy and his slowness to call. I’m patient, but gawwwwwwd!

Upon further advice of a very trusted source and bestest friend, I was informed that smart, sexy, funny women are intimidating and I’m intimidating as hell. He told me to be down-to-earth and shoot a text.  Being that I’m a persistent Taurus, but also a pragmatic Feminist, I went ahead and sent the text. Oh, Technology, you make my life both endlessly complicated and amusingly frustrating. All is well, and I can go back to being a patient Fernandina, sniffing my winter pansies in my container gardens.

Oh, that, and I can cook food, between all that time being patient.

Maybe you have this problem too, but when you’re having a lazy weekend day, isn’t it impossible to choose what sort of breakfast items to have?? At restaurants, it’s pretty cost-prohibitive to have the coffee-orange juice-coke-water-apple juice-hot chocolate-sprite-sweet tea-hot tea-Chai latte-Cranberry juice all at the same time. Maybe water and one of those beverages, but not all of them. At home, I have whatever I want!

I also have difficulty picking between sweet and savory when I’m out. So dammit, I used my waffle maker and had waffles with walnuts and blueberries, with real butter, whipped cream, and a honey drizzle. Sha-blam, I also had scrambled eggs with tomatoes, truffle salt, cheddar, and sunflower sprouts I grew in the window sill. This breakfast was DA BOMB! Boom! In my belly!

And I mentioned my spoiled dog? Yeah, she got brunch too.

Oh, damn. But then there’s all the dishes.

Let’s be clear, this wonderful weather is WONDERFUL. I’m thrilled it’s January and I’m outside in shorts and a tank top. Global warming, you are real and I like it (today only). Let’s also be clear that I’m so grateful to the universe and my circumstances that I have the good fortune to make money for what I do and have a roof over my head and a suspect porch under my feet. (I'm devastated that there's another news story out of India about women being unable to safely ride public buses.)  My dog is happy her mom is sitting outside on a laptop and encouraging her to bark at long-tailed tree vermin.  No waffling allowed, life is, quite good.